I put today’s title in quotes, because lately I have been seeing that particular quote in response to the multitude of issues people face within their relationships. Domestic abuse, deadbeat parents, toxic partners. Whatever the relationship malady there is always at least one tone deaf person commenting that people need to pick better partners.
This has to be addressed, because it’s said as though every single person is honest and up front about their bullshit. I don’t know about you, but I have never met a person who immediately disclosed they have a tendency to abuse their partners, or exploit weaknesses, or they cheat on every partner they have ever had, or that they will abandon their children if the relationship doesn’t work for them. That’s not how this works, that’s not how anything works.
That knowledge is revealed over time, and often it’s revealed too late to make better decisions. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a person’s character is revealing enough that bad decisions could be avoided given some extra consideration, but this is more the exception than the rule.
There’s no hard and fast advice for this either. People need to be more honest, but the ones who lie the hardest also know if they don’t lie they won’t get what they want. If only we were all human lie detectors.